Although I consider myself a generally flexible person, I do not like uncertainty. In fact, when there is uncertainty in my life, I tend to obsess over it. However, my life was thrown into a cloud of uncertainty when I began my semester abroad.
Even after seven years of studying the Spanish language, I can only completely understand someone speaking to me about 80% of the time. Even when I feel as though I can properly translate the sentence, I doubt myself and even question the cultural differences that may be in play during the exchange. When I speak to others, even when I am sure I am saying the correct thing, I worry that I may mistake a word or conjugate incorrectly. I am never completely confident or certain in my speaking abilities.
The uncertainty that I have faced everyday has made me uncomfortable, but it has also challenged me to become comfortable with the unknown. This is because, frankly, I have no choice. I could ask “Que?” after every time someone speaks to me to ensure that I had heard them correctly the first time, but that would get old very quickly. I could quickly Google Translate everything I want to say before I say it, but that would not help me improve my Spanish. For now, I am “winging it” and choosing to live with uncertainty, to a certain extent.